I follow a facebook page called She Recovers. On this page she posts a lot of different things as people are recovering from different types of addition from food to alcohol etc. A week or so ago, she shared a post from Sobercoach1 that talked about high functioning alcoholics and how they are the ones who are working, have families etc. This is also where I classify myself and also why I sometimes don’t think drinking is an issue as I can function and I can go days without drinking; however, this statement hit home. “Alcoholics have an abnormal desire to drink. A constant preoccupation is how I would best describe it. Alcohol is everywhere in an alcoholic’s life. A constant awareness of it. Life is planned around alcohol. An alcoholic is usually thinking about it. For example; when will I drink next, how much I will drink, when I will buy it, how much I will buy. An alcoholic doesn’t necessarily drink all the time; however the thought of it is not far from the mind. Normal drinkers don’t do this.” Wait, what? Normal drinkers don’t do this? I do this! I think about alcohol a lot. Do I need to get some on my way home? Do I have enough in the frig in case I want to drink tonight? I’m not drinking tonight, maybe I can have one, nope, no, not drinking tonight.
I recently started a Learn to Drink Responsibly program though Living Smart. It is a self help program that has a plan for you to help you realize you drinking habits and to learn why alcohol is so hard to quit. I am almost to quit day. It is making me realize a lot of things about myself and not in a negative way. They talk a lot about drinking habits and how you never needed a drink before you started drinking, but it needs it now because of the habit that was created. Anyway, my plan is to quit on quit day. Day 1 is approaching.